All posts filed under: Thailand

Lady Gaga: Hot and Sticky, Bangkok-Style

G and I have the same fearful vision in our heads: we get on these bikes, are taken for a ride and I am kidnapped, disappearing into Bangkok forever. Let’s have a word about Bangkok. Living on Khao San Road is really cheap but kind of a pain in the rear. It’s not connected to the metro lines, forcing you to go by tuk-tuk or taxi and god willing I will never have to take another tuk-tuk. It’s 4:30 on concert day and we decide that we should get going. We’d like to sit at a restaurant, food stand, whatever and have dinner and beers  before the show. We figure we will take a taxi, plus rush hour on a Friday evening is just about to start. Fretfully we approach the line of taxis. We engage one and then crap, G forgot the 7/11 Gaga receipt. Run back to hostel and fetch it. Back to the taxi line. The taxi actually waited for us. 300 baht and he will take us there. We want the …

Koh Tao: Turtle Island Musings

There is an infestation in Koh Tao. I don’t know how it can best be treated, or if it is really a problem at all. Koh Tao is crawling with Canadians. G and I loved Koh Tao for many reasons. First, it’s a darling little island with a really low key attitude. There’s propaganda everywhere urging tourists and residents alike to ‘Save Koh Tao!’ (I.e. conserve water and use organic shampoo). Dive students wash up onto shore three times a day after an exciting day of diving White Rock or an enthralling night dive. A walking street connects the two main beaches and is adorned with beach bars, dive shops and travel agents. There is a man with a pancake stand who I have fallen in love with. I want to put him in my pocket and bring him back to Canada with me so he can share his $1 banana and Nutella pancakes with everyone. We went to a lady boy cabaret and saw a lot of nipples. Like I said, it’s not really …

Convinced I Was Had

Well, if indeed my apres-burn lotion is manufactured by Samui Sun. Did I just give good money to these folks for sunscreen and then more to recover from their inferior product. Yes, yes I did. Stupid farang. 72 hours later… Spirits are lifted. This morning I was able to independently fetch my own breakfast from the dive resort restaurant. This was a notable feat as yesterday it was a failed endeavor, resulting in my running back to the room lightheaded and slightly nauseous. Shortly thereafter I developed a fever and chills which was alarming. But anyway, feeling better today following a 12 hour sleep. Face is pink but improving. Stomach and chest are still a shocking shade of red, despite pain subsiding significantly. If I may be so bold, I suspect I may be on the upswing. As I have exiled myself to our room and really proven to be poor company, G has really embraced scuba diving. We had done our Open Water Dive tickets together, completing them the day before I managed to burn the shit out …

Did I Just Buy Knock-Off Sunblock?

I am laying in the air-conditioned darkness of my hotel room thinking, ‘Did I just buy a bottle of knock-off sunblock?’ Is counterfeit sunscreen a thing? Here are the condemning facts:  At eleven a.m. I walked to a ‘pharmacy’ (essentially a minimally stocked drugstore) and purchased a bottle of SPF-30 sunscreen.  The product in question is Samui Sun; Samui  of course, referencing the island of Ko Samui. The packaging further reads, ‘Coconut sun protect‘ and boasts that it ‘protects against sun burn and premature skin ageing‘ (verbatim, misspelling included). Two for the win, right? — 29 days into our trip I was confident I had established a base tan, less the slightly less visible veins on my forearms. (A testament to living in snowy Prince George, Canada for the last five years, and one I am eager to remedy.) Given the perceived base tan, I would do this by purchasing sunscreen that was less than the SPF-60 my Dad-Pants Boyfriend bought for us.   Speaking of Greg. He signed up for a two-day advanced open water diving …

Koh Phangan is the Easiest Place to Be

Upon arrival we were informed that no liquor would be sold until midnight following tomorrow’s election. We tried to make the point that we were foreigners and couldn’t vote, and obviously we should be able to buy liquor. We had it on good account that Bottle Beach was the bee’s knees of good beaches on Koh Phangan. So following the Full Moon party we made the north island our heading. G had convinced me that going by 125cc moped would be a dandy idea. Let me paint you a picture, two adults on a moped, with two large backpacks. We looked pretty goofy and it was uncomfortable, but doable. What wasn’t apparent on the map (on first glance) was the condition of the road leading north. In between us and Bottle Beach was a) a mountainous interior; b) jungle; and c) a road that turned into a dirt road with some steep grades. With bum space on the moped at a premium, my hips ached under the strain of my backpack as we slowly climbed …

Proof Thai Full Moon Parties are an Absolute Shit Show

Let me sum up a Thai Full Moon Party: there are a lot of dumb [expletive] people at full moon parties doing a load of stupid [expletive]. A fire rope, while highly entertaining to me, is a highly infectious idea to drunk people. Two locals stand on platforms and swing a petrol doused, flaming rope. Swinging it slow at first, they speed up until they trip the drunk foreigner. It must not have hurt enough though because many tripped. Other flaming items included fire dancers (who will gladly light the cigarette held in your lips) and fire limbo. You can climb the side of a building and then slide down a wet slide, landing on an inflatable wedge on the beach. Drunk people will often sit on the wedge. Need I paint the picture? 10,000+ people drinking buckets of hard liquor mixed with pop and Red Bull. In Thailand Red Bull has legit amphetamines in it too. Every bucket poured receives six straws. This means that for any given FMP, 60,000-120,000+ straws litter the beaches. More logistics: 10,000 drunk people and one public toilet (read: the beach). Listen …

Sawadee Ka! We Just Arrived in Thailand

  I’m backdating this entry half a week due to the fact that I’m not toting my laptop and so I can’t write in real time. We spent a couple of nights just off Khao San Road in a busy guesthouse, far enough from the noise but close enough to the action to stumble to. Double room with A/C, fan, basic amenities and clean enough for $15/night. We love Thailand already. It wasn’t long before the humidity had us taking afternoon siestas and primarily functioning after dusk. Given the 40 degree heat and near total humidity, we needed to make any beach our heading, ASAP. Quite frankly, we weren’t able to enjoy Bangkok for this reason. May as well head elsewhere, we will have plenty opportunity to return. We booked an overnight bus and ferry to Koh Samui, an island in the South. That evening we had a very social night, meeting tons of other travellers. Among the nine of us in our crew, was a German girl who mentioned that she had rented a bungalow …